Removing the Ribbon

When we looked upon our house for the first time last summer, laying eyes upon the driveway was a particularly swoon-worthy moment (can you tell we’re adults? Swooning over driveways is what my life has become).

Isn't it breathtaking!?

Beautiful, hand laid cobblestones with a delicate strip of bright green grass in the middle beckoning guests to the carriage house. Hell, the queen of England probably doesn’t have a driveway this nice. The whole thing creates the illusion of an old English cottage cozily nestled just outside the city.

Landscape architects call this a “ribbon driveway.”

I call it stupidity at its finest.

This is what a ribbon driveway is supposed to look like.

What you see in blogs and places like Pinterest

And this is how they appear in reality. 

Yikes.

There are several problems with these stylized pathways to the garage.

• If you live in a cold weather climate (which we do), shoveling or snow blowing wreaks havoc on the grass patch. 
  
• When snow melts, it all pools into the area, leaving you with a mud bath so long, it could fit several small hippos (ok, probably just their feet, but ten of them nonetheless).
  
• It requires drivers to navigate their tires on either side of the grass. And I know I’m not the only person who screws up simply trying to maneuver their car onto the track for a car wash.

So, on a cold and cloudy Memorial Day weekend, Josh and I decided that enough was enough: the ribbon needed to go.

How To Re-Cobblestone Your Driveway

Step 1. Do not move into a house with a ribbon cobblestone driveway.
If you failed Step 1, move onto Step 2.

Step 2. Get ready to flex those muscles. First, one must dig out all the dirt and remnants of grass down far enough to lay new cobblestones. Be prepared to spend roughly 4-5 hours on this process. 

Just keep digging!

Step 3. After digging a chasm in your driveway, take a moment to enjoy the sense of accomplishment before your brain realizes the project is only HALF done. 

Wait, this wasn't the hard part?

Step 4. Lay a light layer of paving gravel or stone to set a base.

Step 5. Collect and assemble 150 - 200 cobblestones. This may require you to, get ready for it, dig them out of the garden in the back yard because, why wouldn’t they be there. Take plenty of Ibuprofen before this step as each stone weighs 20 – 30 pounds depending on the size. 

(Interesting side note: the guy that lived here before us had some major connections around Minnesota. When one of the cities decided to replace their downtown area with paved roads, the owner spent days picking up truckloads of the old, original cobblestones and stored them in the backyard. So, we have some city's old street leading up to our house- pretty cool if you ask us).
 
Step 6. Assemble stones so they lay nearly level and fill as much of the space as possible. Be prepared that since this area is not geometric, this step will be like putting together the world’s heaviest jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces look nearly identical.

Josh is in charge because my spatial reasoning prevents me from properly loading a dishwasher.

Step 7. Refrain from punching the old man up the street when he asks if you're sure you know what you're doing and, instead, smile while mumbling "nope, just making it up as I go along..."

Step 8. It’s now been eight hours. Go inside and put ice on your major extremities.

Step 9. Return to work in the morning. Finish arranging cobblestones in the open area.

 
Step 10. Fill crevices with leveling sand, taking extra precautions to ensure all holes are filled to prevent the stones from moving.

Fancy schmancy "professional" leveling sand.

Step 11. Make a surprise trip to Menards for more sand because you ran out. Curse yourself all the way there.

Step 12. Finish filling crevices with sand.

Step 13. Sit back and admire your hard work, because, let’s be honest, it kicks ass. 

Such an improvement!

The Winter Doldrums

Oh you know … just your typical April morning in Minnesota.

April 23, 2013

Honestly. Haven’t we been punished enough? I've already resigned myself to the fact the Vikings will never win a Super Bowl, we’ll always be required to sing all twelve verses to every church song ever and will unfortunately always share a state border with that embarrassing cousin you pray never shows up to family events … you know … Wisconsin. But now this? Snow through the end of April? Really?

This extended wintry tomfoolery has been especially annoying for Ashley and I, because we have a bounty of outdoor projects to complete this “Spring.” First and foremost, we haven’t even been able to officially close our loan until our contractor paints the exterior of our house and attaches new gutters. How silly of us to expect consistent 35+ degree temps in April so paint can properly dry! Thankfully, we received an extension from the bank for “unforeseen weather circumstances.”

But painting and gutters aren't the only tasks we have planned these next few months. Ashley, myself and the friends and family we'll con with beer and baked goods also have outdoor projects of our own:

First, we’re itching to channel our inner gardeners (Ashley’s inner gardener may be in permanent hibernation as she hasn’t met a plant she couldn’t kill). If you remember last fall, we transformed the house formerly known as Jumanji, into a clean slate for planting. As of today’s writing, nothing has changed from last fall, although we did order a pretty tree to plant.

We're planting a Redbud tree like this one in our front flower bed. 

We also desperately need to fix our cobblestone driveway (didn’t we tell you we purchased an English cottage?). Years ago, a long vertical section of stones slipped out/were removed and now when the snow melts, we get our very own mud pit. With the menagerie of animals trudging about our property, I’m actually surprised a parcel of piglets hasn’t staked claim to this swath of muddy goodness.

If you look close enough, you might see pig prints.

But thankfully, it's finally spring and we have great weather coming up so our house painting will commence this week and we’ll start repairing our driveway this weekend. April showers bring May flowers, right, weather.com?

OH COME ON!!!

The Tale of Two Mice

The First Tale (as told by Josh)

As I've said before, one of the greatest things about where we live is the fact that we back up to a nature preserve.  In just a few short months, we've been visited by several deer, an owl, foxes and plenty of turkeys. Last week, we were given the pleasure of meeting a new outdoor friend: a mouse.

Due to the long (and, let's be honest, it's been long) winter, Mr. Mouse (that's what I call him) was likely caught outside during a cold spell and needed shelter from the blustery winds. Fortunately, Mr. Mouse stumbled upon a cute English-looking cottage and found a hole just big enough in the garage to squeeze through.

Famished from his journey from field to finely decorated house, our furry friend needed to regain his strength. Low and behold, the kind owners had left out a delicious, fluffy corn muffin just for him!! (though, the ziploc bag made it slightly more difficult to enjoy). While I had yet to meet Mr. Mouse face to face, I imagined he looks like this:

Hello! I'm pleased to meet you!

What Mr. Mouse didn't know is that an evil witch lives in the house (her name is Ashley) and is on a mission to rid the world of all rodents!! She developed an evil trap to lure Mr. Mouse to his death using bright colors and clever tricks. It looks something like this:

I'm scared to think what will happen to Mr. Mouse if he is not careful!!!

The Second Tale (as told by Ashley)
One of the "great" things about living next to a nature preserve is that the boundary between house and forest is blurred. Turkeys have claimed our yard as their own. An owl considers the tree out front her personal post. And this past week, mice have decided they are just as sick of winter as the rest of us and are finding more "tropical" environments to wait out the weather.

On Sundays, I always make something for Josh and I to take for lunches during the week. Homemade chicken noodle soup was on the menu and, of course, freshly baked corn muffins. I put them each in their own ziploc bag (convenient 'grab and go' portability) and went to bed that night. On Monday morning, I noticed one of the bags had a hole in it. Since it was next to the burner on the stove, I figured it had melted from the heat. Just to be safe, I threw it away and took another muffin for lunch.

THANK.

GOD.

Tuesday went by without incident.

Wednesday morning I awoke to find evidence that an evil rodent had breached our home. The last corn muffin (inside a now-ripped ziploc bag) had A GIANT HUNK out of it.  Upon further examination of the bite marks, I concluded he must look similar to this:

Enlarged (slightly) for effect.

I marched upstairs and showed my husband (Josh) evidence of our intruder. Clearly, drastic measures needed to be taken.

After work, I visited the local hardware store and purchased several traps for the kitchen and the basement (clearly, our new "friend" is using the tuck-under garage as an access point). It pained me beyond belief to use my sacred food (peanut butter) on a lowly, disgusting mouse trap but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I hope mice like Ezekiel bread and organic peanut butter...

With fingers crossed, we went to bed that night hoping to catch (and kill) this rabid menace threatening our health and home.

The Epic Conclusion (the finale of BOTH tales- as told by Josh and Ashley)
Thursday was a bust. No mouse. We figured that the trap was probably not in the right place (around the corner of the kitchen island) and needed to be more out in the open at night.

Sure enough, Friday morning, Ashley nervously went downstairs to leave for work when she peeked around the corner and saw a tail.

A long. skinny. white. tail.

Our nemesis/Mr. Mouse must have met his demise earlier that morning (warning: graphic image ahead - do not proceed if you just ate breakfast, or any meal for that matter):

OMG this "mouse" is either on steroids or extremely well fed. 

While we'd like to think we caught the sole perpetrator, our hunch is that more furry friends are still hiding in the house. Tonight, we're putting out a fresh trap and hoping (Ashley especially) that we catch the last of the new visitors.

Once it gets warmer out, we'll be tasked with closing the gaps in the garage and the holes in the walls we think they are using as an entrance.

Oh the joys of home ownership.

Earning Our Stripes

"There's nothing like a fresh coat of paint to brighten up a room."

That's what the liars hosts of HGTV keep telling their faithful followers as a surefire, cheap way to turn a room into a beautiful living space.

With our growing collection of art, we decided that the office would be the best place to showcase our eclectic array of screen prints, concert posters and framed infographics.

After taking down the hat lamps and covering our office with a fresh coat of white paint, we realized that the room felt like a doctors office. Sterile. Uninviting. Panic inducing.

Seriously, who would want to work or do ANYTHING in here?

Rather than repaint the entire room (something I was absolutely against- I don't want to look at another paintbrush or roller for at least six months), Josh had this horrible cool idea to paint some horizontal stripes to give the walls some visual interest.

A warning to anyone that believes this is a good idea: you WILL hate yourself halfway through the project.

At first, we simply measured from the floor and ceiling and marked where the stripes would go. But as we started taping the lines, we were reminded of the joys of owning a house that is over 70 years old. Houses, like any structure, start to settle. And not evenly. Sure enough, the room isn't level.

Awesome.

So, what happens when you can't use a tape measure to create stripes? You are forced to use a laser level.

I wish you could have seen us that quiet Sunday afternoon. Me, holding the level as my arms are shaking trying to keep it straight and Josh, hurriedly trying to tape a straight line using this microscopic laser that kept disappearing if your finger got in the way.

Three freaking hours just to TAPE those stupid lines. There were tears. Angry words. Feelings of defeat as we made our way around the room with a step ladder and pure grit.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

And just when you've finished taping you realize you're only HALF DONE. You still have to paint it.

(face palm)

Fortunately, the painting was quite easy for me (Josh, on the other hand, was once again forced to edge because I am too sloppy with a brush and get it all over the trim).

Another helpful hint: if you don't want the paint to peel off, spend the extra money and purchase the professional grade masking tape at Sherwin Williams (not the blue tape by 3M). I promise, you will thank me later.

Ta Da!!!

We're actually REALLY happy with how it turned out! Hopefully by the end of April we can get all our artwork on the walls and put the finishing touches on the room.

PS- with spring finally making an appearance, we can start working on some new projects. We have some exciting plans in the works and hope you'll stay tuned for the results!

The Williams Family +1?

First ... holy moly we haven't blogged in a while! After painting seemingly every free night and weekend for all of January, we needed a non-house project month.

Second ... Ashley is not pregnant. The +1 we speak of is the possibility of adding a furry friend to our family!

Our plan all along has been to get a rescue dog sometime this summer or fall once we got some of our outdoor house projects complete. However, this plan might have changed after we dog-sat for our good friends, Corey and Monica.

Meet Chloe!

You see, my dear wife is impatient. How impatient you ask? Let me tell you.

Exhibit 1: Ashley often reads the end of a book after the first couple chapters.
Exhibit 2: If eating speed were an Olympic sport, Ashley would be a medal contender.
Exhibit 3: When it comes to cleaning, her impatience has spawned a cleaning style called, "Ashley-clean" ... a dedicated 10 minutes or so of hiding items in closets and sweeping under the rug.

So needless to say, any thoughts of logically waiting for a dog until outdoor projects were finished went completely out the window when Miss Chloe stayed with us this past week.

My laundry quickly became Chloe's bed.

As we begin our search, we thought we'd ask our dear readers for some advice. Here are our guidelines:

1) We'd like to get a rescue dog, preferably one that has been potty-trained and has received it's shots.

2) Because we live next to a nature preserve, we have lots of animals roaming our yard, including turkeys, owls, rabbits, deer, raccoons and foxes. We just can't have a dog that goes bananas every time Bambi raids our apple tree.

3) Ashley loves to run and would like a dog big enough to accompany her.

4) Growing up, we both had super-hairy, fluffy dogs. As much as we loved them, we'd prefer a dog that doesn't shed as much.

5) Finally, we need a dog that isn't needy. We want a dog who is able to relax with a bone while we watch a movie and we definitely will not allow our dog to sleep with us in the bed.

Look at how well-behaved I am!

Please share your suggestions and personal stories with us! Who should be the new Williams +1?

Flashback: Dishes in the Tub

When my sister, Brooke, decided to move to Chicago six years ago, I decided it was time to get an apartment on my own. While having a roommate had its advantages, I felt I was finally old enough to be completely on my own. Right away, I found a beautiful one bedroom place in St. Paul with hardwood floors and a GORGEOUS clawfoot soaking tub. Without consulting any outside opinions, I put down a deposit and agreed to move in the following month.

Being young and inexperienced, I didn't realize all the things one should check for before agreeing to rent (or purchase) a place to live. For starters, I foolishly believed air conditioning on the top floor was not a necessity. When your cat sits in the living room in this position for hours at a time, you know its hot.

But that's not all. After just a few weeks, I learned the other "quirks" the renting agency neglected to tell me:

• The laundry room DID have three washers and three dryers. However, there were no lights in the laundry area and no windows, not to mention only one of each worked on a good day. 

• The water heater was on a boiler system. Hopefully you weren't in a hurry because lukewarm water took a minimum of 8 minutes, hot water at least 10. 

• I couldn't dry my hair and have the bathroom light on without blowing a fuse. Same for the kitchen light and the microwave. 

• And the best part: the kitchen sink didn't have hot water. In order to wash my dishes (because there was no dishwasher) I had to fill up a tupperware basin with water in my bathtub and carry it into the kitchen. 

So this past weekend, when the pipes to the kitchen sink began shooting water all over the basement, I found myself, once again, washing dishes in our bathtub. And having marinara sauce all over your white porcelain tub makes you thankful for plumbers and their ability to be at your house first thing Monday morning.

Despite this setback, we've actually managed to get a TON of painting done. And even though we're far from being finished with decorating, things are starting to finally take shape.

 

The House Connected: The Smart Home Revolution

Here's a story I wrote for work about our house and the technology available to us. Hopefully you find it just as interesting as the techies I usually write for!


This fall, my wife and I purchased our first house. And like many young couples, we went the ambitious route and snagged ourselves a fixer-upper. And boy was this house ever in need of fixing … so much so that we utilized the 203k renovation loan program so we could tackle projects immediately and get the home back to livable condition.

The great thing about rehabbing or building a home in today’s day and age of “smart technology” is the sheer amount of affordable options for those looking to go green, automate basic home processes or program appliances. We installed a new television that utilizes built-in Wi-Fi to give us the ability to surf the internet and stream movies directly from our TV. We purchased a sound bar for our television that doubles as a wireless speaker for our iPhone by utilizing Bluetooth connectivity. We have even looked into a home security system where we can visually monitor our house via our phone and a sprinkler system that can be managed by a slick mobile application. But our favorite new automation toy for the house is the Nest Learning Thermostat.

The Nest Learning Thermostat is a brilliant product from a couple former Apple employees who created the first iterations of the iPod and iPhone. As their website states, “Nest learns your schedule, programs itself and can be controlled from your phone. Teach it well and Nest can lower your heating and cooling bills up to 20%.” As you would expect from any product with ties to Apple, the Nest has a beautiful interface, boasts simple navigation and revolutionizes an entire industry. As Wired Magazine recently quipped, “The Nest is the iPhone of thermostats.”

Since Nikola Tesla first patented an idea for a remote control in 1898, home automation has mainly been something we’ve read about in science fiction books. But since the invention of smart technology, consumer electronics has advanced leaps and bounds. Even when the first iPhone was released in 2007, I don’t think many consumers would have imagined a thermostat that could program itself coming to market less than five years later.

And perhaps even more impressive, the Nest is available to the general public at a very reasonable cost of $249.99. In fact, most home automation devices are finally becoming cheap enough for middle-class families to explore. No longer does it take a massive electrical overhaul and new equipment totaling thousands of dollars to automate simple house processes. By investing in a reasonably-priced, new smart product, the ability to connect via your smartphone and control the device is intrinsically built-in. Never before has a homeowner been more in control of the basic operations of their house. And we’ve barely even scratched the surface.

This “internet of things” so to speak is quickly building a future of immense connectivity. As CNET recently wrote, “the trend toward ubiquitously connected devices and people is inescapable and poised to change everything about the consumer electronics world.” According to Cisco CTO Padmasree Warrior, there were 500 million connected devices in 2007, or about one for every 20 persons on the planet. In 2013, that number will jump to one trillion devices, or 140 devices per person!

But while the ability to control your air conditioner, open and close blinds and dim lights is helpful, a world where almost every device is programmed and can be managed by a remotely-located device is a bit dangerous. While I don’t think a thief or hacker will care too much about fiddling around with sprinklers, I’m sure they would love to get a hold of the ability to manage a security system. Not to mention, we’ll soon enough have the ability to open house or garage doors via our smartphones and that could pose a major threat if a phone is stolen or lost.While concerns over security and privacy are very real, the benefits of a house with connected devices and automated processes is extremely beneficial to consumers. Not only does it provide you with the control necessary to streamline and improve the way your house runs, it will also save you time and money. And as much fun as I’m having renovating a house with 21st century conveniences, I can’t even imagine what new gadgets and technology will be available to me in 30 or so years when my renovation is finally complete!