Home Stretch (aka: Holy Crap!!)

I'm sitting on my couch chugging gallons of watered down Gatorade and consuming enough carbohydrates to fuel the mens Olympic swim team. Today was my final hard-core training workout before the race on Saturday. Over five miles of hills, sprints and a few random sets of push-ups just in case my body didn't hate me enough already. In addition to icing my knee and taking advil, my current predicament involves my ass.

Somehow I pulled the muscle in my ass (feel free to laugh anytime). I've concluded that there are no easy, direct ways to stretch out this lovely muscle that ya know, MIGHT be helpful while propelling myself through mud across pits of flaming hay bales.

But (no pun intended) other than that, I think I'm prepared as I can be. I'm bringing all the necessary supplies one would need when attempting something this ridiculous:

Goggles- I'm blind and cannot afford to lose one of my contacts in the water obstacles. What's really funny is that I had to buy the "junior" size goggles because the adult sizes are too large for my face.

Gloves- in addition to my midget face, I also have midget hands which made it almost impossible to find gloves that don't look like oven mitts on my tiny paws. My hands seriously have not grown since fifth grade.

Tums- call my crazy, but I'm convinced 2-3 of these before a run will prevent my insides from exploding halfway through the course and spilling down my leg. If you don't think that this actually happens, I challenge you to sit at the finish line of a marathon. Two years I volunteered at the Twin Cities marathon, assisting runners in their quest to cross the finish line. And in those eight hours, I saw more bodily fluids spill onto the pavement of St. Paul than most med students see their entire residency.

Duct Tape- After reading several blogs and columns written by former Tough Mudder participants, this seems to be a good investment. My neon-green adhesive will be strategically wrapped to secure my sneakers to my feet. Apparently, the mud gets so thick that people have lost their shoes in the mess. I don't know about you, but I have no desire to run rocky, uneven terrain in my Hanes Her Way crew socks.

A change of clothes- After the race, I'm expecting to be hosed down like a scientist potentially exposed to a biologically enhanced strain of the plague. If the clothes are not completely destroyed from the mud, fire and barbed wire covering the course, my shoes will MOST DEFINITELY be retired on Saturday.


A cheering gallery- and last, but not least, I'm bringing a cheering section. I spent six months convincing my mother that I would not die or get seriously injured while competing. Even now, I've had to promise that if I get injured, I will swallow my pride and NOT feel compelled to finish the course. So she'll be heading to Somerset to see me race, along with my awesome dad and ever-supportive husband. They'll be taking plenty of pictures to document this monumental achievement.

And finally, thank you to everyone that has read a post and made comments to cheer me on. I know I wasn't the best blogger with the most posts, but they were honest and I loved seeing that people took the time to read all my ramblings. I'll be posting pictures and a recap of my adventure on Sunday so stay tuned!!